i can't
by xx.th3monkxx.naruai
Summary: he thinks he can just walk back into my life well he can't  m boyxboy fo r alll yaoi lovers
1. selfish bastard

**HAI HAI MONK-CHAN HERE WITH A HEART BREAKING STORY **

**THIS A YAOI STORY SO DON'T LIKE DON'T READ RATED M! OR LATER CHAPTERZ**

**HEHEH*NOSEBLEED***

**SHA-CHAN: FREAK**

**ME: HIDOI~**

**ALY:BTW SHE DOES NOT OWN NARUTO OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTER**

**ME: WISH I DID T-T**

**SHA-CHAN: IGNORE THE BAKA AND ENJOY**

**

* * *

**

it was a cold night, i was meant to be alone.  
it started raining, and i watched the rain drops pour.  
they feel onto my bedroom window and dripped down like tears on the glass.  
my reflection on the window plus the dripping rain made it look like i was crying too.

i looked ove rmy shoulder to my empty bed. He was normally lying there with a smirk on his face.., urging to come and lie with him. but i'd never go because i knew all he wanted was to toy around with my body. "he is such a perv..." i felt my heart tighten all of a sudden. I missed him

I heard a knock on the door . i wondered who it could be at this hour , as i struggled to my feet and made way to the door.

when i open it , he was standing there. his pale face looked flushed his hair stuck to his face. he was dripping wet and panting hard. i was in a state of shock. we didn't even say anything i just stood there watching him, as he watched me . waiting for something to happen. was it all a dream? he looked so hot with wet hair. i started to think about the times we'd make love in the shower , and at the hotsprings and at the pool. these where all memories i was trying so hard to forget. my chest was tightening again. just looking at him made it hard to breath. i wanted to touch him...among other things. "stop it!" i voice in my head shouted. "don't get sucked in" it warned "remembered what he did to you?" "how he hurt you?" .

i turn away as those memories flooded back to my head. the arguement that night it was just as cold and rainy then as now. all the unnesscary things i said to him and he said to me. how his face looked when it was filled wih anger. how is creamed at him to leave and never come back , that is was over . how i cried and cried for the whole night when i heard the door slam. even now i'm still crying.

then he finally spoke " you gonna let me in or do i have to freeze my ass off?" i open the door even more and move to one side so he could walk through.  
he brushed past me as he walked done the hall way. i could smell his sweet scent. i loved his orangey scent.

he went into the sitting room and practically droppen on the chair. i could tell he was tired. i got him a towel to dry off.

i stood next to him and coutinued to look at him. The silence was murdering me. what was i supposed to say? what did he want me say? the persure was to much. every time i thought of something to say and open my mouth. my voice just wouldn't come out.

i guess he realised how uncomfortable i was getting . "what?" he asked like him justing coming in to MY apartment (it was ours before)  
soaking wet was normal. it kinda irritated me.  
"Why are you here?"  
i asked trying to peace my voicce together for a serious tone.  
"i was in the neighbourhood" he says calmly "so you could've gotten a cab home, why come here?"  
i ask again he shruggs his shoulders "didn't cross my mind"  
"you're still not answering my question" i reply he sighs "it's raing freaging cats and dogs, even if i wanted to leave i wouldn't"  
"thats not what i'm asking sasuke!" this time i'm getting angry "why did you come here?" "why come to me , why not to lee or sakura or kiba?" my voice becoming quiter "cuz i don't want to , i want to be here" he answering calmly again "you can't just do stuff cuz you want to sasuke" the selfish bastard "have you thought maybe i don't want you here?" i ask this time steping closer to him.  
then he glances at me "you really don't?"  
i step back , and clench my fist whilst looking away.  
i felt like the air was getting more and more thing.  
he was making me doubt myself. i was so sure i got over him. yeah i really idn't want him...here...i dont wan't sasuke here.  
"yeah" "i-i really don't"i stammer " i really don't" i mumble "relax dobe" he says " i'll if you reeally want me too"  
he got up . "teme, how do you expect me to let you leave now?"  
"your gonna get sick"  
i turn my back to him. i didn't want him to look at the concerned look on my face. even though it was evident in my voice "i give you some dry clothes" i say walking toward the kitchen "i bet you haven't eaten yet" "thanks"  
i hear him utter as he makes his way to my bedroom. he already knows where my clothes are...it's like he still lives here.  
i don't feel like cooking so i put some ramen into the micro wave for 10 minutes. hey i'm lazy i glance outside through the window. the rain got even worse. "he might even stay the night" i voic ein my head says...and i feel kind off happy. but i shake my head trying to shake those thoughts out "i don't want sasuke here" i reassure my self. "yeah i heard the first time" a voice behind me stated.  
"i feel so wanted" he says as he walks in side the room and sits down.  
"gomen" i mumble.  
"what we're having ramen/ like i din't excep that" he chuckles."acutually your having ramen im doing dishes"  
i correct him as i look at my pilled up stackes of dishes in my sink. "yum" he says as i wash the dishes i can hear him slurping behind me i could just imagine his lips suck the noodles into his mouth , it reminded me of him suckign somethign else...i feel my cheeks go red . sasuke you big idiot i thought to my self . my hert just kept pumpimg and thumpind louder and louder. i wanted to touch him so bad.  
"ah" he said out of no where " the rain's gotten worse"  
"i can see taht captain-obvious" i snap at him "hn...then i probably can't make home now can i?"  
i stopped "i probably have to stay over here...with you"  
what was he doing?  
"well i guess you can't help with the weather"  
is he palying with me ?  
"i am soooooooooo tired right now, makes it even worse"  
is he trying to make me break?  
"there's no way i can make it even tomorrow morning"  
does understand what he is saying right now?  
"we could sleep in the same bed"  
what he trying to make me do?  
"just like old times"  
Old times...old times it talking like our relationship was like going to camp with a new friend, that you have good memories and that us breaking up was like him and his friend going home after camp and not seeing each other again.  
what did he see me as? his toy? his reserve? "...sasuke?" i ask "what? "he says "...what do you want from me?" i ask, i can feel the burning in my throat there's a silence "Dobe, you know what i want , i want you ?"  
what? he wants me whats that suppose to me mean he wants me. me ore my body because thats all he wanted before.  
i could feel my anger rising.  
wth? he fucking wants me he says. like he can just order me or something.  
"sasuke do you understand what your saying?" i say biting my lip trying to hold back my pure rage and tear "yeah i do" he replies "i just hope you understand"  
"no, sasuke...i don't, i don't understand what the FUCK YOUR SAYING!" my tears begining to give way and i go from whispering to yelling.  
"then i'll say it slower so you can" he saus before he inhales deeply and says "i. want. you. na-ru-to"  
the tears would't just stop ...it was becoming hard to see. i didnt kow what do.  
i wasn't about to let him back. no i can't make that easy for him. i can't just let my self go back. i was going tell him to get out , i don't care , i didn't want sasuke hear, i don't want him here...but i really did want him here. i wanted him so bad! and wanted to touch him so bad! i wanted sasuke,. but i can't let him come back.

i turned around to see him but to my surprise he was already right behind. i look up at him with wet teary eyes "s-sauske...i-i" couldn't say anything.  
i felt his arms around me as he pulled me in and i felt the warmth of his rosy lips on mine.  
he gently kissed.. it felt so good i missed him so much. then i remembered why he left in the first place and i pused him off me. he stumbles back ward on to the floor. i start panting . "its not that simple saskue!" i scream with my eyes shut "you can't just come back when you feel like it !" ... "i can't just let you...can't let you ...(crying now) i can't"  
i fall to the floor the tap still ruuning an rain out side still pours "you selfish bastard".

* * *

WHAT DO YOU THINK? GOOD RIGHT?

PLZ REVIEW NICE REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY, CRITISIM IS ALRIGHT BUT I LIKE REVIEWS THAT MAKE ME GLOW THANK YOU


	2. Unexpected visitor

**hello ppl! yer my first chapter sucked eggs in grammer but, hey i'm a very lazy person. ill fix it soon but no so soon. dont worry this one is ok :) i made sure cuz someone else did spell check heheh. its kinda short cuz i really just had it come to me so i had to write what ever i could as quick as i could. special thanx to anna519 and shayna for giving me a hand with the story . grammar wise and btw**

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS IN NARUTO ALL BELONG TO ...THAT GUY WHO WROTE IT .**

**SHAYNA**: Spell CHECK BUTTON ANY ONE CAN DO DAT. YER SO LIKE ENJOY!

**ANNA**: that's my line T.T

* * *

I felt the burning at the back of my throat. The water in my eyes didn't stop it just kept running. I was shivering and felt cold , So vulnerable and fragile. I was so angry and frustrated and I didn't know what at , myself? At sasuke? . Most of all I was afraid. Afraid of what was happening right know , afraid of what was going on in my life . I was so afraid kept my head down and cried and sank down to the floor . I didn't want to look at his face. I didn't want him to see my face .

It was silent for a moment . All that I could hear was my sobs and my terrified heart beat. It was as if I was alone , but no I knew sasuke was there , I knew was watching me cry . I didn't want to see what kind of expression he had. Suddenly I felt a warmth around me . The warmth wrapped around me and comforted me . It pulled me in till I hit something hard. I remembered this warmth, this familiar scent , it was a suffocating scent. It was sasuke...this was sasuke. I wanted that moment to last , I wanted to be held like that with that kind loving care.

Then I felt hot breath against my ear as he whispered to me "...I'm sorry...". Well that just started me off again. I gritted my teeth and held my breath trying to hold it in. but my effort was futile I began to wail like a baby . Sasuke started rocking me back and forth and running his fingers through my hair. I held on to his back and fisted the back of his shirt. I felt like I was being hypnotise by him.

I felt like I stopped thinking and functioning at the same time I felt kind of calm and safe. Even still I felt like a fool.

The door bell rang and it snapped me out of my trance. I pushed him away and got up so fast, I buckled a bit . I tried to catch my breath , panting but still looking down. I didn't have the courage to look at sasuke's face.

I ran for the door and opened it . Meanwhile trying to compose my self . When I look up I see a familiar emotionless smile peering back at me.

"..sai?" I say

"was in the neighbourhood thought I'd pay you a visit" he replied

"oh, umm nice of you" I say meekly with a fake smile on my face , I should have know that it wouldn't work on him. He is the king of fake smiles

"what's wrong you don't look all that happy to see me" he asks with a know more concerned look

"w-what?...no nothing is wrong really... just tired a bit that's all" I lie

"you're lying" he says with a serious look on his face

"AM NO-"

"you are too" he cuts me off

I look away trying to come up with how to get rid of him because I really didn't want him to know sasuke was here. You see sai never liked sasuke he saw him as a traitor , that he wasn't right for me.

"look sai nothing is wrong ok! I'm fine" I lie again I was so not fine! But this ime a was-i thought- I bit more convincing

"you sure?" he asks again

"yes I am" I reassure him

"k, lemme in so I can make you some tea" he says

"ah, no its fine really" I reply

"no insist" he...insists

"no no its fine" I try to shoo him again . I spread my hands across the door way so he doesn't go in unexpectedly

"naruto lemme in"

"sai go home"

"why won't you let me in?" he shouts , why he gets angry baffles me

"no sai go home!" I shout beck. Now his struggling to get through and I'm trying to stop him.

Then he stops and backs away .

There's a shock in his eyes. Like he saw a ghost . I look back and sasuke is standing behind me.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING HERE!" sai screams pierce the rain

* * *

**DUN DUN DUN...SAI APPEARS WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT...? TILL NEXT TIME **

**PLZ REVIEW PLZ SASUKE'S RIVAL! :)**


	3. go away

Ahahahahahahahahah I have finally come back this is a climatic chapter.

Thank you anna she gave me the idea of this one.

I love my friends

sha-chan:we don't love you

me:T.T

anna: -.-" ani huz enjoy

"WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?" sai shouted at naruto.

Naruto looked away from sai, he didn't now what to say when "that incident" happened sai conforted him and even doe he wasn't going out with sai he felt like he had betrayed him. Even though Sasuke came here without any invitation what so ever.

"hn" sasuke growled "i was wondering what was keeping you, to think it was this low life"

"lowlife..." sai started "you one to talk!"

oh no naruto thought this was getting serious.

"after what you did to him, if got some nerve showing up here bastard" sai finished

"i can show up where ever I like, I have lots of nerve" (huh? Wat eva) sasuke snapped back

sai's face contorted with anger, he clenched his teeth and stepped forward . Naruto getting concerned at this point stepped in front of sai.

"do really except him to take you back after what you did you bastard? Huh?" sai shouted

"you guys stop it, you'll wake my neighbours" in the end naruto is caught in the middle of a guy cat fight -.-"

"this has nothing to do with you sai!" sasuke shouted back completely ignoring naruto.

"this has everything thing to do with me , you conceited ass hole" sai began "his my friend and you hurt him so it has everything to do with me"

"yeah, yeah your friend . Whatever your just jealous and too much of a dip shit because you always wanted him but he was already mine" sasuke retorted

sai at this point couldn't really say anything because the truth was he hated every minute that naruto an sasuke where together.

"nothing to say? I thought so" sasuke said with a I just proved my point tone.

Naruto again looked at floor, he too knew sai's feelings but tried very hard to make sure knew that he could never return those feelings.

"yeah so" sai finally said "so what yeah I love him , I love him more than you could ever love him..." naruto looked up at sai at this point "...i've always loved but tried to restrained myslef cuz I knew he was in love with you" sai looked down at the blond with is dark eyes .

"but isn't convenient that when are relationship had a little problem you step in and try to be prince charming , you dip shit, you where only trying to take advantage of him" sasuke said trying to break up the moment between naruto and sai

"wha-"

"SASUKE DON'T SAY THAT!" naruto shouted interrupting sai's come back

"i knew...i knew he loved him but I played the ignorant fool because it was too complicated...i was trying so hard to love you and pretend to be friends with him when I knew he wanted some thing more..."

right know evey calmed down to listen to naruto.

"..i told myself I love sasuek and he loves him and that's all that matters...but you know what..." naruto's tears began to pour again "after what you did...i doubted that...then it thought what a effing jerk...made me fall in love with him and know he hurt me bad!"

sasuke hung his head down in shame and regret

"i'm sorry" he mumbled

sai smirked

but then naruto turned to sai again "and you... you knew how hard it was for me and i'm grateful you comforted me...but then i'd ask myself why'd you come here today?"

sai know frowned , yes he didn't come to pay naruto a "visit" he came to...deepen their relationship.

"i could already tell what you where here for...i'm not an idiot sai...you're no better than sasuke..."

it got very silent every one was too preoccupied with their thoughts. The three men stood there, trying to form a sentence in their mind that would try to feel the gaping hole, the argument created".

Till finally naruto said "please...leave me alone" and the other two men began looking at him. "i'm tired and not thinking straight right now...i can;t do this nonsense or keep talking to you bastard I feel like i'm going to break,,,,so please go gay both of you".

sasuke looked away for a sec second but what he saw when he looked back made his heart ache and blood boil. Sai had one hand around naruto's hips and the other holding up naruto's chin as he crushed his and the smaller blond's lips together.

Sai stopped and Naruto walked back with fingers on his lips and a confused face.

"sai you ba..."

**SLAP!**

Sasuke was cut off by the sudden noise, he was shocked.

"What the fuck are you trying to do?" Naruto screamed

sai looked dumbfounded while holding his cheek

"ASSHOLE!"he continued "go away"

Naruto was pissed but he was still not thinking straight maybe he didn't mean what he said but he said it. His words cut through sai like a bread knife through butter

pure rejection.

Sai ran and ran and ran.

Only when he was gone the naruto realise what just happen and he feel on to the floor crying.

When sasuke tried to come near him he screamed "DON'T TOUCH ME!".

The rain kept poring

woooooooohoooooooooooooo finished only two more chapters or soo to go.

Sha-chan: T.T sob sob

me: sha-chan you ok?

Sha-chan: don' touch me

me: 0.o" ahahahahah(laughing nervously) shayna is distressed naruto 24/7

anna: p..plz review :)

will try to fix first chapter

update on crime and punishment soon~


End file.
